36

I turned 36 yesterday, and I have to say that of all the things I thought about my 36th bithday, being 24 weeks pregnant was not one of them. Each year, God truly shows me in a new way that His plans are not my plans and His ways are certainly not my ways. Having said that, this baby is just one of the best and sweetest reminders of that ever! I never ever thought I would have 4 or even 3 children. In fact, there was a time when we weren't even sure that we would have any children.

In my moments of weakness and self-doubt, I feel so unsure as to why God would choose ME to be their mother. I mean...does He know me? I am disorganized (really)...I don't cook (much)...I fall short every day in so many ways. But in my best moments, I feel so blessed because He chose ME to be their mother, ME to love them, teach them, hold their hands, wipe their tears, read them stories, sing them songs, hear their prayers. What did I do to deserve all this? But then I know that blessings like these sweet ones aren't earned...can't be earned. They are truly good and perfect gifts from above. And I thank Him for them every day.